Married people don't have sex. When you get married, kiss it goodbye! Women never want it, men always do. Women don't want to be looked at, touched or talked to sexually when they are pregnant, in a bad mood or without make up... she's got to look like a runway model, or she's not hot. He's got to be perfectly trimmed, beautifully in shape and a real romantic guy to get a girl that's worth a damn.
Um...so... Who made this up? But, in all honesty, aren't these things we have heard and DO hear on a regular basis? These may even be some things that you are personally battling right now. Why? Because people, who do not understand the power of their words, managed to put that cutting, nasty little voice in your head, and you were never able to quite shake it off... You know, with self-defeating, non-functional, malicious things of that calibur being said, (especially around the younger generations) I really can't see why our divorce rate is so high. Or why people don't know to be/ are terrified to be intimate with each other... or why communication in relationships if often so static and muddled. Truthfully, sex happens when you make it happen- it's not an automatic function, and yeah, some women want it 24/7 while some men could take it or leave it half the time. That's simply natural! And YEAH MARRIED PEOPLE HAVE SEX! Where do you think babies come from? Don't worry- you won't wake up in a vet's operating room with your balls on a table after your wedding reception... and if you did, well, you probably shouldn't have married her. Believe it or not- most men LIKE a little extra curve on a lady. And I know a lot of ladies who like their man to feel like a strong and sturdy pillow, not a rock hard death machine. All these false, negative notions of life do is set you up for failure.
These are examples of how we, as a whole, get tricked by our fears. Mind you, I am not saying that fear is without purpose or isn't useful, but I will say that it makes great mountains out of very humble mole holes. But the greatest trick that fear plays on our minds and hearts is this one simple, invariable lie: that love, TRUE love- the kind that was taken right out of God's heart himself and put in to you, is not going to make your life completely and totally wonderful. We are so often tricked in to believing that it simply doesn't make a difference, and suddenly we are defensive, bitter and convinced we have crashed before we ever took off.
When we fail- or feel that we failed- we begin to search for an answer... "Well, we fight because he doesn't listen, so I get angry. How am I supposed to react?"... "No one wants to be with me because I am nothing to look at."... "Things are never going to change. I keep falling in love with men who abuse me." Love does not speak this way. Love would never cut down and build walls like this- love cannot thrive where these thoughts take root and eat away at the soil. The fact of the matter is, the couple cannot communicate because they are putting pride before love. The person who does not see their beauty does not love himself, and therefore cannot receive even the most giving love... and the woman who is abused allows herself to be trampled on, because somewhere in there, she has convinced herself that this is the best she can do. This is one of the deepest heart breaks for me, in all my passion for people... there is no greater downfall to the human race than constantly forgetting that love, humble, simple, Godly love is the key to everything meaningful.
I believe that all negative thoughts and actions come from forgetting the power that love bestows in us... love is not only a thing that makes us vulnerable and weak in the knees, it is the force that causes men to die for their beliefs, women to go through childbirth and give life, children to journey with their parents as they grow old and wither... In other words, it makes the world go round!
A motto of mine to keep this human flaw of dangerous self-depreciation in check: Speak to yourself like you are someone you love. There was a couple years of my life where this thought was one of the staples that got me through the darkest times. Treating yourself with love is the beginning of really understanding what love IS- and how it adds meaning to every single thing you do. Only when you truly love yourself, can you truly give away deep, selfless and nurturing love- the kind of love that is personalized to you, and is programmed for your purpose with God's own hand.
My challenge to you, dear reader: where, in your wonderful self, can you strive to love yourself more thoroughly?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Weeding for the Feeding...
Believe it or not, I just weeded this thing!
Already, the garden resembles a patch of jungle, where the rows of delicious foods are hard to identify because of overgrowth and mess. Luckily, I do enjoy weeding! It isn't my favorite part of gardening, but I do find that I can complete the task joyfully. When I get down on my hands and knees and start pulling at stubborn roots, I nearly always fixate my thoughts on where I need to weed in my life. Are there any spots that seem to be untended? Is my heart cleaned up well enough that I can easily tell what is growing there, or what might be suffering from neglect? What about my thoughts? Do they flow easily and freely, coming from good and healthy places- or are they tripping over vines and spoiled fruit on the way to my lips ?I have found that it has been so important, over my entire life, so make sure that I spend time every day, every night (or however it works out) checking myself over spiritually and mentally. In the seasons of my life where I have let my head and heart turn in to a jungle, it has been some of the more difficult times in my life. And it's so easy to let yourself become overgrown... not just because you are busy but because the roots of what you must pull in yourself grow in to emotions, memories and spiritual places. It becomes less like a clean up at that point, and much more like surgery... and we often feel as if we need to do it alone.
One of the ways that I have learned to lesson this burden that we all face is to let those who love me, whom I trust and adore in return, help me clean myself up. It's a little unnerving to look at someone and say, "What can I do to be more?" but if it's the right person, you'll find it's hardly a negative conversation. In my experience, they almost always manage to hit the nail on the head and use just the right diction to get the point to you quickly and lovingly. Ask the people in your life, "How can I love you better?", "Do I treat you well?" Learning how to connect even more deeply with those you love is one of the easiest ways to experience more joy in yourself and fulfillment in your life- and you'll likely find yourself falling right in to step. God does wonderful things through humility! Be sure to always do this out of that spirit.
Weeding for the feeding: Just like in a garden it is in ourselves; if one does not tend to the seeds that were sown, one may not receive a harvest, or know when the time is ripe to pick the fruit. If we do not care for ourselves sometimes even more meticulously than we care for our own children, what can we offer? Only half a crop, or maybe even less. Being half of something is simply not the purpose of being human.
And with that- I'm gearing up to weed! :) Where are some places in your heart and head that could use a little care? Don't shy away from them- they are not bigger than you, they aren't as scary as they look. Love them, they are a part of you! Share those parts of yourself with someone you love and ask them to journey with you in a whole new way.
Already, the garden resembles a patch of jungle, where the rows of delicious foods are hard to identify because of overgrowth and mess. Luckily, I do enjoy weeding! It isn't my favorite part of gardening, but I do find that I can complete the task joyfully. When I get down on my hands and knees and start pulling at stubborn roots, I nearly always fixate my thoughts on where I need to weed in my life. Are there any spots that seem to be untended? Is my heart cleaned up well enough that I can easily tell what is growing there, or what might be suffering from neglect? What about my thoughts? Do they flow easily and freely, coming from good and healthy places- or are they tripping over vines and spoiled fruit on the way to my lips ?I have found that it has been so important, over my entire life, so make sure that I spend time every day, every night (or however it works out) checking myself over spiritually and mentally. In the seasons of my life where I have let my head and heart turn in to a jungle, it has been some of the more difficult times in my life. And it's so easy to let yourself become overgrown... not just because you are busy but because the roots of what you must pull in yourself grow in to emotions, memories and spiritual places. It becomes less like a clean up at that point, and much more like surgery... and we often feel as if we need to do it alone.
One of the ways that I have learned to lesson this burden that we all face is to let those who love me, whom I trust and adore in return, help me clean myself up. It's a little unnerving to look at someone and say, "What can I do to be more?" but if it's the right person, you'll find it's hardly a negative conversation. In my experience, they almost always manage to hit the nail on the head and use just the right diction to get the point to you quickly and lovingly. Ask the people in your life, "How can I love you better?", "Do I treat you well?" Learning how to connect even more deeply with those you love is one of the easiest ways to experience more joy in yourself and fulfillment in your life- and you'll likely find yourself falling right in to step. God does wonderful things through humility! Be sure to always do this out of that spirit.
Weeding for the feeding: Just like in a garden it is in ourselves; if one does not tend to the seeds that were sown, one may not receive a harvest, or know when the time is ripe to pick the fruit. If we do not care for ourselves sometimes even more meticulously than we care for our own children, what can we offer? Only half a crop, or maybe even less. Being half of something is simply not the purpose of being human.
And with that- I'm gearing up to weed! :) Where are some places in your heart and head that could use a little care? Don't shy away from them- they are not bigger than you, they aren't as scary as they look. Love them, they are a part of you! Share those parts of yourself with someone you love and ask them to journey with you in a whole new way.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
A Very Quick Salmon Recipe
Hey guys! So, I just came up with this recipe- and it turned out REALLY nicely, so I thought I would share.
Since the beginning of this pregnancy was not the easiest, as far as that fun morning sickness thing goes, I have been trying to be extra careful about what I eat and drink this time around. I ate well with Gwen, but this time I'm trying to up the bar to fresh foods and minimal unneeded extra calories. It's really a different ball game when you have another this close to the first!
So, the recipe is for (basically) Lemon Basil Salmon...
PS: I rarely use any kind of measuring device, so my measurements I'm passing on are ball park. Just do what feels right!
You will need:
. 1 Salmon filet, de-boned and whatnot
. 1/4 cup of soy sauce
. Juice from a fat, ripe lemon
. 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil (spicy is good!)
. 1/4 cup minced garlic
. Crushed Red Pepper, to taste
Okay, so you're ready to start! Pour the soy, lemon juice, chopped basil, minced garlic and crushed red pepper in to a skillet. Your stove may or may not be volcanic like mine, but essentially, you want to simmer all of the spices and juices together for about 5 minutes before adding the Salmon. So, if you have a non- homicidal stove top, you'll probably want to set your skillet to about 3 or 4 heat setting. (You'll know it's ready when the basil starts to wilt and get darker in color- and the garlic will begin to become a bit more transparent. Don't let this merriment burn! That'll make your salmon taste icky...and it will make me sad. Burned garlic and basil? Boo.)
Toss that beautiful cut of salmon right on top! No need to lower the heat, really- as long as you like salmon fairly rare in the middle. If you want to cook it all the way through, lower the heat so it doesn't dry out. If the piece is on the thicker side, you're probably looking at around 2 1/2 to 3 minutes on each side. On your stove, it might even take less time than that!
When you're done, plate the bad boy up with a pairing of a light salad, or some steamed veggies. Go ahead and spoon out those extra bits of garlic, basil and red pepper for the top of your salmon. And voila! Nice, fancy tasting salmon dinner in no time at all.
Hope you enjoy!
Since the beginning of this pregnancy was not the easiest, as far as that fun morning sickness thing goes, I have been trying to be extra careful about what I eat and drink this time around. I ate well with Gwen, but this time I'm trying to up the bar to fresh foods and minimal unneeded extra calories. It's really a different ball game when you have another this close to the first!
So, the recipe is for (basically) Lemon Basil Salmon...
PS: I rarely use any kind of measuring device, so my measurements I'm passing on are ball park. Just do what feels right!
You will need:
. 1 Salmon filet, de-boned and whatnot
. 1/4 cup of soy sauce
. Juice from a fat, ripe lemon
. 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil (spicy is good!)
. 1/4 cup minced garlic
. Crushed Red Pepper, to taste
Okay, so you're ready to start! Pour the soy, lemon juice, chopped basil, minced garlic and crushed red pepper in to a skillet. Your stove may or may not be volcanic like mine, but essentially, you want to simmer all of the spices and juices together for about 5 minutes before adding the Salmon. So, if you have a non- homicidal stove top, you'll probably want to set your skillet to about 3 or 4 heat setting. (You'll know it's ready when the basil starts to wilt and get darker in color- and the garlic will begin to become a bit more transparent. Don't let this merriment burn! That'll make your salmon taste icky...and it will make me sad. Burned garlic and basil? Boo.)
Toss that beautiful cut of salmon right on top! No need to lower the heat, really- as long as you like salmon fairly rare in the middle. If you want to cook it all the way through, lower the heat so it doesn't dry out. If the piece is on the thicker side, you're probably looking at around 2 1/2 to 3 minutes on each side. On your stove, it might even take less time than that!
When you're done, plate the bad boy up with a pairing of a light salad, or some steamed veggies. Go ahead and spoon out those extra bits of garlic, basil and red pepper for the top of your salmon. And voila! Nice, fancy tasting salmon dinner in no time at all.
Hope you enjoy!
The Little Things!
I think one of the coolest things about motherhood is how much they teach you just by having fun. Seriously, not too many of us "grown ups" can say that we have quite as much fun playing on the floor with a book and a spoon the way that a little one does... but our whole adult lives, we are striving to get that free, unbounded sense of silliness back. The awesome thing is that, when our child opens their arms and says, "PLAY WITH ME!" you get an open invitation to relive how awesome it was to be so innocently and sweetly entertained. That door of fun and nostalgia is opened up in a whole new way...Without knowing it, they remind you of all the little things that make life all that much more enjoyable that we, as busy, active and responsible parents, sometimes forget how to do.
Like...
Making a MESS! How fun is that!? SO FUN! Most of the time, we are running around trying to keep our heads above the mess; subdue the dishes in the sink before the mutiny arises! Set phasers to stun! I'm giving her all she's got captain! (Please read that in Scotty's voice- it will really enhance the reading of this entry.)
But what of going through a bunch of your books, scattering them around the room while simultaneously rolling around on the floor in a pile of once- upon- a- time folded neatly clean blankets? Then moving on to a crawling, giggling chase-a-thon around the floor with a lot of "I'm gonna get you!"s and "I'm gonna kiss that belly!"s? Pretending your a horse while a little one latches on to you and rides all around the house with you? The best thing in the world.
Oh yeah, and taking silly pictures with each other just because you have a face. Another one of the wonderful and fun things I was reminded of by my daughter. :)
God has a lot to say (and to teach us) about ALWAYS being joyful- and I certainly learn a lot about it through Gwen! Life is so much easier and no less meaningful when we manage to suffer well, and always keep our heads up, eyes on the horizon... excited for the next step- no matter how scary it looks. Maybe that's one of the many reasons why our body gets ready to have kids when it does- right after you've really started to get a sense of the world, after you've moved on from innocence and being taken care of by your family... you're probably starting to stress more than you have been, being more responsible and all, and then BLAM, you're pregnant! More stress, physical and otherwise, lots of planning, events, talks with the husband or father (or maybe no talks at all... sad day, but it happens) all the while thinking to yourself , "Man, I hope I can keep this things alive and happy. I have no idea what I'm doing!" Then, the baby comes. Here you are- a swollen, busted open, exhausted and sweaty mess, holding the most awesome little package you have EVER seen in your life. She is so beautiful- looks just like you with her Dee-Da's features and you can already tell she's gonna take you to town. Suddenly, it clicks! All you need to do is take care of her as best you can and LOVE her with everything you have. Unconditionally, unabashedly and with great patience no matter what.
Joyfully! The way God loves us.
And lucky for us parents- that means a whole lot of learning what it means to be a kid again. :)
Like...
Making a MESS! How fun is that!? SO FUN! Most of the time, we are running around trying to keep our heads above the mess; subdue the dishes in the sink before the mutiny arises! Set phasers to stun! I'm giving her all she's got captain! (Please read that in Scotty's voice- it will really enhance the reading of this entry.)
But what of going through a bunch of your books, scattering them around the room while simultaneously rolling around on the floor in a pile of once- upon- a- time folded neatly clean blankets? Then moving on to a crawling, giggling chase-a-thon around the floor with a lot of "I'm gonna get you!"s and "I'm gonna kiss that belly!"s? Pretending your a horse while a little one latches on to you and rides all around the house with you? The best thing in the world.
Oh yeah, and taking silly pictures with each other just because you have a face. Another one of the wonderful and fun things I was reminded of by my daughter. :)
God has a lot to say (and to teach us) about ALWAYS being joyful- and I certainly learn a lot about it through Gwen! Life is so much easier and no less meaningful when we manage to suffer well, and always keep our heads up, eyes on the horizon... excited for the next step- no matter how scary it looks. Maybe that's one of the many reasons why our body gets ready to have kids when it does- right after you've really started to get a sense of the world, after you've moved on from innocence and being taken care of by your family... you're probably starting to stress more than you have been, being more responsible and all, and then BLAM, you're pregnant! More stress, physical and otherwise, lots of planning, events, talks with the husband or father (or maybe no talks at all... sad day, but it happens) all the while thinking to yourself , "Man, I hope I can keep this things alive and happy. I have no idea what I'm doing!" Then, the baby comes. Here you are- a swollen, busted open, exhausted and sweaty mess, holding the most awesome little package you have EVER seen in your life. She is so beautiful- looks just like you with her Dee-Da's features and you can already tell she's gonna take you to town. Suddenly, it clicks! All you need to do is take care of her as best you can and LOVE her with everything you have. Unconditionally, unabashedly and with great patience no matter what.
Joyfully! The way God loves us.
And lucky for us parents- that means a whole lot of learning what it means to be a kid again. :)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Great Place to Start!
This weekend was WONDERFUL! I was blessed by the presence of my dearest friend and sister, Ms. Beth Lang as we celebrated her soon to be, oncoming college graduation. It was a long trek, and incredibly busy- and we returned worn and weary- but with a renewed sense of connection with what we have been moved away from as well as a new blooming love in our hearts. I decided to take advantage of the inspiration gleaned and start a brand new blog in dedication of a brand new era in my life. I tried to write on my old blog (Fishing for Walnuts) and it just didn't feel right anymore. My whole life has completely changed and so much of my heart and soul has changed right along with it. It's time for something new!
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