Married people don't have sex. When you get married, kiss it goodbye! Women never want it, men always do. Women don't want to be looked at, touched or talked to sexually when they are pregnant, in a bad mood or without make up... she's got to look like a runway model, or she's not hot. He's got to be perfectly trimmed, beautifully in shape and a real romantic guy to get a girl that's worth a damn.
Um...so... Who made this up? But, in all honesty, aren't these things we have heard and DO hear on a regular basis? These may even be some things that you are personally battling right now. Why? Because people, who do not understand the power of their words, managed to put that cutting, nasty little voice in your head, and you were never able to quite shake it off... You know, with self-defeating, non-functional, malicious things of that calibur being said, (especially around the younger generations) I really can't see why our divorce rate is so high. Or why people don't know to be/ are terrified to be intimate with each other... or why communication in relationships if often so static and muddled. Truthfully, sex happens when you make it happen- it's not an automatic function, and yeah, some women want it 24/7 while some men could take it or leave it half the time. That's simply natural! And YEAH MARRIED PEOPLE HAVE SEX! Where do you think babies come from? Don't worry- you won't wake up in a vet's operating room with your balls on a table after your wedding reception... and if you did, well, you probably shouldn't have married her. Believe it or not- most men LIKE a little extra curve on a lady. And I know a lot of ladies who like their man to feel like a strong and sturdy pillow, not a rock hard death machine. All these false, negative notions of life do is set you up for failure.
These are examples of how we, as a whole, get tricked by our fears. Mind you, I am not saying that fear is without purpose or isn't useful, but I will say that it makes great mountains out of very humble mole holes. But the greatest trick that fear plays on our minds and hearts is this one simple, invariable lie: that love, TRUE love- the kind that was taken right out of God's heart himself and put in to you, is not going to make your life completely and totally wonderful. We are so often tricked in to believing that it simply doesn't make a difference, and suddenly we are defensive, bitter and convinced we have crashed before we ever took off.
When we fail- or feel that we failed- we begin to search for an answer... "Well, we fight because he doesn't listen, so I get angry. How am I supposed to react?"... "No one wants to be with me because I am nothing to look at."... "Things are never going to change. I keep falling in love with men who abuse me." Love does not speak this way. Love would never cut down and build walls like this- love cannot thrive where these thoughts take root and eat away at the soil. The fact of the matter is, the couple cannot communicate because they are putting pride before love. The person who does not see their beauty does not love himself, and therefore cannot receive even the most giving love... and the woman who is abused allows herself to be trampled on, because somewhere in there, she has convinced herself that this is the best she can do. This is one of the deepest heart breaks for me, in all my passion for people... there is no greater downfall to the human race than constantly forgetting that love, humble, simple, Godly love is the key to everything meaningful.
I believe that all negative thoughts and actions come from forgetting the power that love bestows in us... love is not only a thing that makes us vulnerable and weak in the knees, it is the force that causes men to die for their beliefs, women to go through childbirth and give life, children to journey with their parents as they grow old and wither... In other words, it makes the world go round!
A motto of mine to keep this human flaw of dangerous self-depreciation in check: Speak to yourself like you are someone you love. There was a couple years of my life where this thought was one of the staples that got me through the darkest times. Treating yourself with love is the beginning of really understanding what love IS- and how it adds meaning to every single thing you do. Only when you truly love yourself, can you truly give away deep, selfless and nurturing love- the kind of love that is personalized to you, and is programmed for your purpose with God's own hand.
My challenge to you, dear reader: where, in your wonderful self, can you strive to love yourself more thoroughly?
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
ReplyDeleteThese words are very redundant in our society today, but I wonder how many people really stop and think about what it is saying. This passage immediately popped into my head while I was reading your wonderful post.
You make an excellent point...you have to love yourself before you can love others. And God's words about love mean as much when you are looking inward as they do when they are looking outward to others or to God.
We are so worried about doing what we think is "right" in this society instead of trusting our hearts to lead us in the right direction. And yes, Married people DO have sex.